Let’s Talk About Online Dating...
Can you believe it? I’ve lived in Northern Virginia for over a year now! And unlike my time in Florida, this time I decided to step out of my comfort zone and dip my foot in the DMV dating pool.
Here’s how I did it...
I created profiles on Eharmony, Match, OKCupid and Bumble. My Eharmony account was short lived because it matched me with a lot of 50 plus gentlemen, and I’m not remotely interested in that demographic. Match.com was also a total bust. On OKCupid, I made a friend (no benefits) and found a few potentials. However, my best experience has been on Bumble, which I joined after getting positive feedback about the site from a Facebook friend.
Dating has been fun, interesting and somewhat weird. The dating weirdness ranged from moderately gross to extremely disturbing. I’ve received unsolicited comments about what men would like to do to me. I’ve encountered a lot of men with foot fetishes. One guy even asked me for pictures of my feet, while another asked me for a foot job...what the hell is that?! Another gentleman weirdo repeatedly messaged me about the size of his penis. Ugh, super disgusting. Despite the weirdness, I remain resolute in my quest to find my special someone. It feels like I’ve been on over 50 first dates. You know, like the Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler movie, except I don’t have amnesia, so I’m forced to relive the details.
Due to the volume of interested men, I figured the best way to separate the “potentials” from the “weirdos” was to chat often and meet with them as soon as possible, if we had chemistry during our initial exchange. Good first dates advanced to a second and possibly third interview. Yes, I treated a few of them like job applicants by firing off question after question to gauge their interest and my own. This tactic resulted in one short-lived relationship and a new yet promising experience.
Navigating the dating scene in my forties is way easier than it was in my twenties because I’m not self-conscious about my appearance, I’ve become more direct and honest with each date and I’m not worried about guys choosing me, these guys need to prove that they are worthy of being chosen by me. Worthiness can be demonstrated by meeting certain standards and requirements, like no last minute dates, he must plan the outings and be consistent in his treatment of me. Inconsistency is an automatic red flag for me because it shows me he won’t value me or my time
The really cool thing about dating is it has allowed me to explore more of D.C., Maryland and Virginia. Some great guys have introduced me to awesome restaurants, museums, local events and nightlife. While it has been wonderful sharing these experiences with them, I long for the opportunity to share these firsts with just one special person. I’m optimistic that I’ve gotten closer to finding this person.
Online dating is a mixed bag. You’ll have really wonderful and really outrageous experiences. In this day and age, online dating is one of the best ways for a busy woman like me to meet a potential partner. So for now, I’ll just continue to enjoy dating, be open-minded and go with it.
