Single, Almost 40 & Happy
I enjoy being single. I'm not a man-hater; although I do have some inherent biases again men. (That's a topic we'll discuss another day.) I enjoy having time for myself and not having to worry about fulfilling the needs of someone else. I care for my daughter and my furbabies. My life is full and I have a bright future ahead of me.
I'll be forty next year! I'm super excited about this milestone birthday. I've been single for the past three years and I'm repeatedly asked about my dating life. "Are you dating anyone? What's going on with you on the dating front?" I appreciate that the people asking love me and want me to be happy. But the fact is I'm not interested in dating right now. I was in a relationship for almost 20 years. When that relationship ended, I realized I had no idea who I was. Goals, interests, plans for the future...I had none.
The interesting thing about leaving a long term relationship is you have to find yourself again. For the duration of the relationship, your life was intertwined with someone else's. Moving forward on your own can be terrifying because you're entering unknown territory.
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with. ”
My focus over the past three years has been to figure out who I am. Single Kwame. Who is she? What will she do when her daughter goes off to college and no longer needs her?
I don't have the answers to these questions. And as I approach 40, I've learned there's no rush to figure it out. For the first time in my life, there's no urgency to define myself. I don't have all the answers about my life or my future and that's a beautiful thing. What I need is a willingness to adapt, relax and enjoy the ride.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my thoughts. What realizations have you come to about yourself or your path in life?
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